A charitable request for you this week, dear reader. Help me identify ways to increase Mark Zuckerberg's wealth.
D. K. Wall:Wait, you ask. Why does the CEO of Meta, Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, and whatever else he owns need more money?
D. K. Wall:My honest answer? I don't know. Clearly, though, the man is struggling to put food on the table.
D. K. Wall:What else would explain his plan to charge me an exorbitant amount to share Musings and Tales with you?
D. K. Wall:Yes, he is doing that. No, not just to me. He didn't get upset with one of my stories and target me for retribution. Though he might after this one.
D. K. Wall:What he did was roll out Meta One, a new program that allows Facebook pages just like mine to post more links for a fee.
D. K. Wall:In case you're confused, just two weeks ago, we could post all the links we wanted For free. But no longer. Now we get to pay if we want to post more than two links a month.
D. K. Wall:I know my motto is the stories I tell you are 100% true except for the parts I make up. But I swear this is not one of those made up parts.
D. K. Wall:And yes, I understand perfectly well that Facebook already throttles posts. When I share a cute dog photo or a video of a bear wandering through my yard, only about 12% of my followers ever see it in their feed.
D. K. Wall:In Facebook parlance, following someone means telling them from a great distance while they drift in and out of the shadows. You simply aren't going to see everything. Or frankly much of anything they post.
D. K. Wall:If I add a link, it's even worse. According to Meta's own statistics, only 1.3% see any given post with a link in it.
D. K. Wall:Facebook really doesn't care that you told them you want to follow someone. They know you didn't mean it or don't care that you did.
D. K. Wall:Think of them as a bad fast food drive thru. Odds are good you're going to drive away with a bag full of something you didn't order. But we keep hoping they will get the next order right.
D. K. Wall:So long as the odds are, I still share my Musings and Tales on my Facebook page. To paraphrase Dumb and Dumber and what quality writing doesn't want to do that? At least they're saying there is a chance.
D. K. Wall:Now they say I can only do that twice a month. Since Musings and Tales are weekly, that no longer works. Weekly means over two per month. Yes, I can write and handle mathematics.
D. K. Wall:That's okay because Meta One offers the Essential Plan for the low, low price of $14.99 per month. And what do I get for that? A little blue check mark saying I am me and the ability to share wait for it two links per month.
D. K. Wall:Yes, the same number as they are now offering for free. So all I really get for those 15 hard earned dollars is that little blue checkmark.
D. K. Wall:Fortunately, Meta has a solution for that. For the slightly higher price of $49.99 a month — yes, dollars 600 per year — I can share eight links per month. Well, share them with 1.3% of you because they aren't promising any improvement in distribution.
D. K. Wall:Since I also share recommendations for books I've read, my monthly survey, and other fun stuff on my website, even eight doesn't get me there.
D. K. Wall:As the late night infomercials say, Wait, there's more! No, not Ginsu knives or free shipping or frankly anything as a bonus.
D. K. Wall:They provide two more tiers. Dollars 150 a month for 20 links or a whopping $500 a month to share unlimited links. What a bargain!
D. K. Wall:The maddening part is I already spend money with Meta ads. In fact, many of you, particularly those of you reading or listening for the first time, probably came to me via one of those ads.
D. K. Wall:But the ad spend doesn't give me any credit for sharing links to my followers. None. Zip. It's pay to play now, even for people who have already followed me.
D. K. Wall:Honestly, I'm scratching my head trying to figure out what to do. Paying Mark more money isn't high on my list.
D. K. Wall:Let's be clear that Meta One doesn't affect all businesses equally. Big businesses, of course, can spend $6,000 a year for unlimited links and not even notice the hit.
D. K. Wall:And many smaller businesses don't need links at all. Your favorite local restaurant posts a tantalizing image of tonight's special and you already know where to go.
D. K. Wall:But what I do is share stories for free on my website. Sure. While you're there, some of you might buy a book or two or more if you're so inclined, but that's not exactly a path to wild wealth.
D. K. Wall:Spending $600 a year or crazier $6,000 a year more than I'm already spending on ads simply isn't in the cards. Certainly not for something I share for free.
D. K. Wall:As nefarious as it is, I understand the logic in their move. Like the Hotel California, Facebook doesn't want you to ever leave their grip.
D. K. Wall:They want you perched on a stool in front of a one armed bandit flicking your finger over your phone screen in the endless doom scroll.
D. K. Wall:If you click a link and jump to my website or any other website you might look around and realize you've escaped a seedy casino that hides the exit.
D. K. Wall:But I think there's a better way for Meta. Why not just improve their feed so the entire experience is more rewarding?
D. K. Wall:Call me old, but I remember when social media was seeing what friends and family posted. When you followed someone, say, a lonely writer sharing stories every week, you actually saw their post. All of them. What a novel concept.
D. K. Wall:In that spirit, I propose a few alternatives to help poor Mark raise money and make Facebook better at the same time.
D. K. Wall:For example, we are fast approaching the winter months here in the Northern Hemisphere. Before we know it, the first hints of snow will tease us. We all know what accompanies that. The weather hypester.
D. K. Wall:This is the person with brightly colored charts, lots of arrows, a convoluted vocabulary, and the utter confidence that they know exactly which of the dozens of potential paths is the one true answer.
D. K. Wall:They always, of course, predict the storm of the century is about to descend with feet of snow, multistory drifts, paralyzed traffic, lack of food, and no relief until the spring thaw.
D. K. Wall:They will then point to the one time in a thousand when they were right as proof of their forecasting ability. Just imagine them having to pay a fee to sensationalize the weather. And when only a few flurries fall, their rate increases for their next alarm.
D. K. Wall:Or what about all those people who take whatever crime happens to be hitting the headlines? You know, the one murder out of thousands across the country that the media decides to report on like it's an isolated incident.
D. K. Wall:Then that Facebook crime expert twists the facts to fit their chosen narrative. Look, if your evidence is limited to what you read online, doesn't it make sense that you pay a fee to publish your wild theories?
D. K. Wall:While we're there, how about a fee for that close cousin of true crime, true animal stories? By that I mean, of course, totally made up animal stories.
D. K. Wall:Seriously, no wolf, coyote, bear, raccoon, or weasel has stolen a dog bed off of a porch or from a store, dragged it into the woods, and curled up on it for comfort.
D. K. Wall:Okay. Maybe a bear might. Bears here in Asheville have done some mighty weird things. But my point remains, if you believed Facebook, dog beds are being stolen by wild creatures at an alarming rate.
D. K. Wall:On the opposite end of true? How about a fee for vague booking? You know, the thank goodness I survived, but I can't talk about it yet post. Pay a toll if you're going to subject the rest of us to that.
D. K. Wall:And while we're collecting tolls, let's charge everyone who posts that solemn notice declaring they do not give Meta permission to use their photos, posts, or thoughts.
D. K. Wall:If you read those terms and conditions you agreed to when you signed up for your account, you've already put Meta in your will, so give it up.
D. K. Wall:How about a charge for adding off topic comments to someone else's post? A story sharing grandma's potato salad recipe should not be diverted by the person who wants to tell the story of the food poisoning they contracted while eating day old sushi.
D. K. Wall:And if you turn an innocent post into a political comment, the fee is triple. Or the firing squad, probably more appropriate.
D. K. Wall:My suggestions thus far leave out the obvious. AI generated content that isn't fully disclosed as such should come with a whopping surcharge, like your life savings and a promise never to do it again.
D. K. Wall:See, if we put our minds together, I'm sure we could come up with ways for Mark to line his pockets, increase the quality of Facebook, and still allow me to share my Musings and Tales with you.
D. K. Wall:I'm sure you have even better ideas than I've come up with. Let me hear it in the comments. Just don't include a link. Those cost extra.